Something to contemplate

What are you suppose to think about when you are doing Ai Chi?

As you start to practice Ai Chi~ to hold postures properly, to move in a synchronous direction, to breathe at the optimal time, your mind is pretty busy with new learning. All the while, however it turns out is how it was meant to be, but your thinking is pretty focused on those details. As motor learning kicks in and these details fade into the background there is space for other thoughts to come in~ sometimes very distracting thoughts that disrupt the hoped for flow and relaxation. The Buddhist response to this sort of disruption is to acknowledge that those thoughts are there, to gently push them aside and to return focus to your mindfulness experience in the here and now.

Each of the Ai Chi steps have names. I want to ask Jun Konno how he determined what to call each of the steps. I know that the steps are ordered according to ancient Asian tenants, but I would like to know more about that. Unlike T’ai Chi, Ai Chi is not a martial art, which I assume has some bearing on the order of that practice.

In the meantime, I can turn to my understanding of the Ai Chi names to guide my practice. Doing so makes Ai Chi very personal and enriching. The word contemplating implies thinking about something in a focused manner. With this first step you can acknowledge and toss off those things that are burdening you. You can bring in a religious focus by acknowledging God in a breath prayer. You can reach out to the universe by letting your mind soar… Then go on to floating, uplifting, enclosing, folding, soothing and the way you feel as you move through the water.

I don’t know who the original author of this was (perhaps John Chappelear, author of The Daily Six: Simple Steps to Prosperity and Purpose) but Ai Chi guru Ruth Sova shared this today on an Ai Chi listserve and I found it well worth contemplating:

5 ways to love and forgiveness

1. Forgiveness relieves us of stress.
Let’s use the example of running late in the morning, specifically the long line for coffee. We basically have two choices. There’s the toe tapping, head about to explode option, fuming at the inefficient and under-staffed establishment, considering a scathing online review or storming to the counter demanding to see the manager.

Or, maybe we could take a deep breath. Realize it’s our decision to wait in line for coffee and instead, consider the servers behind the counter. They are clearly working hard. Maybe they left a crying child with a sitter to get to their minimum-wage job on time. Maybe they’ve been filling orders since before we got up and they’re flat out exhausted. Quite possibly their situations makes ours look like a cakewalk.

So, rather than dwelling on how someone else has negatively affected our day, we can shift our focus, control our emotions and change our perspective. The good news is when we work to understand others, we are far less likely to condemn.

When we forgive, we are free. When we are free, we are without stress. Let’s take a deep breath and feel the tension go.

2. Love breeds Love.
Attitudes are contagious. Positivity breeds more positivity. Negativity breeds more negativity. We are surrounded by both. It is up to us to gravitate toward positive people and positive situations while striving to be as optimistic and encouraging as possible in our everyday lives.

Take the running late, long line for coffee example again. We’ve moved beyond head exploding, taken a deep breath and shifted our focus toward others. Whew. But we’re still late and the line is moving at a snail’s pace.

Why not strike up a conversation with those around us? A little bantering goes a long way toward passing the time and who knows? Our next best client might be standing right next to us.

Many people travel through life under the negative influence of outside circumstances. They let someone else’s bad mood put them in a bad mood. They sacrifice their own opinions to keep the peace, often at the expense of their own identity. But, not us. We are not most people. We are the catalyst for the positivity around us.

We choose to positively affect people’s lives rather than letting them negatively affect ours, and we do this by understanding that love breeds more love.

3. Forgiveness exhibits maturity and control.

Not control over others, but control over ourselves. In fact, practicing forgiveness is the exact opposite of allowing others to control us. When we allow the actions of others to negatively affect us or our mood, we are allowing them to live rent-free in our hearts and minds.

Being able to forgive is the ability to free ourselves from the grips of others and take back the reins of our lives. This certainly does not mean that if someone has intentionally hurt or betrayed us that we should welcome them with open arms and trust them again. But forgiving them is the only true way to let go and move forward.

4. We will live longer. No, really.

In a study entitled “Forgive to Live,” a psychologist by the name of Loren Toussaint and her colleagues studied the relationships among forgiveness and health. They used a national sample of 1,500 adults, age 66 and older. The study was published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine.

The ability to forgive others without an apology was seen to benefit longevity. Harboring emotions such as resentment and holding grudges negatively affected heart health, decreasing chances for a longer life.

5. We will, someday, need forgiveness, too.

Not to suggest some Karmic connection between our willingness to forgive others, and others’ willingness to forgive us – but the fact of the matter is that none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Hurt someone unintentionally, say or do the wrong thing.

By practicing love and forgiveness in our daily lives, we send the message to others that we are trustworthy, kindhearted, and genuine. When the day comes and we do make an honest mistake, our character and reputation will carry us forward.

Being loving and forgiving is not only part of  The Daily Six, outlined in my book, it is a daily practice that has a positive effect on those who use it as well as those around them. It is not just something we do, or an act we put on and it’s not a sometimes thing. Love and forgiveness is an all the time thing, brought forth not by what we do but rather by who we are.

We are forgiveness, and we are love.

So that’s it.

Five great reasons to practice love and forgiveness.

And now that we’re finally at the counter, we’ll need to buy some extra coffee and donuts for that meeting we just remembered.